Villa Corleone/Padrone


Now this place is nice. We liked it a lot. Apart from the location where you gotta really want a Shinning experience it was pretty sweet. Best looking house most people have ever stayed in I suspect. With views to kill for. Tuscany is beautiful and this place really makes you feel like you’re living it. That being said just some minor tweaks would make everyone so much happier. I mean they charge a lot of money for this place and the below is complete bullshit…

Here is what you WILL NOT GET:

  • An address. Of any sort as far as I can tell. You have to drop a pin on the location on your phone or figure something else out.
  • Anyone to meet you at the house to explain how things in the house work
  • Any detailed information written down on how things in the house work
  • Any toilet paper or paper towels of any significance. We saw them take all of this stuff when they were cleaning up upon our arrival. They took everything that the people before us bought. Everything.
  • Toilets of any size that make any sense. I have probably never written that down because I didn’t know it was a thing. Outside of me, EVERYONE who sat on the toilet had their feet dangling in the air. Literally could not touch the floor if they tried. I was on my tip toes. Can you imagine that shit?
  • Enough towels to supply the house for two days, which is important because you don’t know how the washing machine works
  • Air conditioning, even though they make you pay extra for it. Now there are AC vents, and those vents do blow air, but you get one per floor. And no, they are not in the rooms so if you happen to like privacy while you sleep you get nothing. Window units or mobile units could easily and cheaply solve this problem. There’s nobody around to help you with the AC anyway so it’s sort of a take it or leave it situation.
  • Wifi in the house. Yes, you do get it on the main floor if you stay near the router. A 50 dollar booster would solve this problem of course.
  • Drains that do not clog up and flood your bathroom. Even though they know that they get clogged and have to come empty them of their disgusting.
  • Pool lights that work.
  • Hot tub lights that work.
  • Hot tub covers that work.
  • Pool umbrellas that aren’t tattered and broken.
  • A pool hammock that is set up or easy to find and install.
  • God only knows how the TV works.
  • And btw, you aren’t near anything. We are pretty capable people, but if the restaurant they advertise as walking distance is actually so, then you must be Lance Armstrong on some extra steroids. It will take you 20 to 30 mins to get almost anywhere you want to go, including a market.
  • Now our pool heater was not working and they were honest about that and did not charge us. I did appreciate that.
  • You also will not get a single instruction on how to leave the house. We left it really clean but got the impression that other people don’t do shit.

All of that being said, and I can’t stress this enough, we had a great time, and the isolation can also be quite therapeutic. All problems aside, I actually loved this place.