Mandarin Oriental DC


Fuck these guys. Seriously. They are full of shit. I am starting to question the entire brand actually. Supposedly the nicest of the nice? My dick.

I pre ordered room service to get some champagne and strawberries, when I got to the room I wanted to change the time and the guy was like “they are already going up to your room”, and I was like they “aren’t supposed to not be here for an hour? Why would they already be going up?”, and he was like I dunno, and I was like listen here pal, just make sure they’re here in 2 hours now. So they bring em up, and naturally we hop in the tub to enjoy them, apparently I forgot something and I hop out to into the other room and I turned the corner and guess what! Some guy’s in the fucking room! He said he knocked and knocked. I literally almost killed him. He says he brought our champagne and strawberries. I’m like, look right there, we already got them. He scampers away but leaves the second round, which we do take down to Chinatown. We also ordered a snack, club sandwich, just to get us through the champagne high, and they only bring one water, one set up, one everything. After I was very clear that there were 2 of us and we were desperate for water at the very least. And! The damn sandwich was missing its “house” sauce, CHEESE. And, this hotel has no pay per view, none. Fucking losers. That should be the first thing on the website when you try to book. It does have a DVD player and the lady says you’re welcome to our library of blah blah blah. Lady, get the fuck out of here with your library. The mini bar was good, but the rooms were so boring over all. We were on the 3rd floor with a water view and it was like looking at the worst part of the river they could find…and I live here! The water view costs more, so I figured it would be nice…but like this entire hotel, it’s just a bag of shit.

Room service was 24 hours, bathroom was pretty good with tub and shower (its got great parts for great action). There was a 90 minute wait time for room serve breakfast the next day so we just bailed. I will never be back. I really don’t want to even think about it anymore. FAIL.