Keio Plaza Hotel Tokyo

TOKYO IN GENERAL

They call this a luxury hotel…it is not. This is not a hotel that anyone should go to. Maybe if you’re at a convention or something, and that’s a strong maybe. Even the lower concourse which is crowded with full service restaurants feels like time has forgotten it. This is a forsaken land, where no man need tread.

The location is quite a few blocks from the Shinjuku train station. But even if it was right next door you’re still taking a cab so who cares. Shinjuku is close to nothing except Shinjuku.

Rooms are bare, built like dorm rooms, and if you had a cool dorm room then fuck you. No mini bar offerings. No pay per view. Room service was weak. I think it was offered 24 hours but since they didn’t take credit card from us when we checked in (neither of the rooms) then we had to pay with cash, which would’ve been fine if the room service guy at 2am spoke a lick of English. Nope, nada. Drunk and starving is how TV’s break btw.

Notes

-I think the beds were made of wood
-I think the TV had 6 channels
-The pool had been empty for some time, but it looked like shit anyway
-The wifi sucked
-They have rooms dedicated to Hello Kitty
-Do not stay here
-I must mention, in the interest of fairness, they did let me check in under my brothers name, and since they didn’t get there for like 5 hours and I was desperado for a nap, I really really appreciated their incompetence in not looking at first names.