Hotel Dukes’ Palace


This is really a fantastic hotel. I had many many problems with it, but I am a snob and I should ignore most of them.
They call it the only 5 star hotel in Bruges. I don’t know if that’s true, but it is a palace. I usually don’t go for regal but I was very happy here. The rooms were modern, and the main areas were classic. It was actually nice to have both in a place like Bruges. The location is hard to beat, maybe 2 blocks from the Markt (but the main street outside of the hotel was completely dug up and under construction, wasn’t too big a deal but it’ll be much better when it’s done).

We ate at the restaurant, and though they extremely limit the tables to artificially create demand (we actually had a nice conversation about this and confirmed it with the manager), we did still have a good time. They could of sat us much sooner (since he “created” a table for us from one of the so called bar only tables), so I retain a little bitterness.
The bar was kind of nice with good service and nice accouterments. Plus, you could sit all over the lobby in these plush sections and they would serve you. If the weather had been better, we would’ve sat on their patio often.

My room was on the 1st floor (2nd floor for us americans) which was perfect because you aren’t really going to get a view from any room (the buildings are not tall enough), and I could walk up and down the main stairs right to my door.
The bathroom was killer. A big tub with a giant window facing the bedroom…very sexy if you want it to be. It also had a big standup glass walled shower and a very mod vanity area. I was surprised.
The room itself had a nice bed and a desk and all of the amenities except pay per view, but the TV was good. The mini bar was nice and had those half wine bottles for 6 euros…12 easy in the US. The room service was wonky and you had to order it from the downstairs bar but they did say it was 24 hours (I did not test this).

The spa was kind of the jam. Unmanned, which I like because that makes it unisex and you can do what you want. I was a little weirded out that the sauna was like right when you walked in and had a giant glass front, meaning everyone that walked in was looking at you no matter what. But they also had a shower room, a nice and dark and steamy hammam, and weird upright tanning beds in this upstairs loft area. That area also housed a salt wall that I honestly couldn’t figure out. I mean, what’s a salt wall? The gym was small but modern and not bad.

The breakfast buffet was actually pretty good at 18 euros. Hot stuff and cold stuff and free champagne…which is really all you need to say.

The internet…ohhhh the internet. You jerks! It was free, but it was terr-ee-blay. I mean awful. It made you log in ten thousand times and even when you did it didn’t work great. I had to walk to the end of the hall just to get my laptop to work. I mean, for this caliber a hotel, they need booster signals in every corner of that shit. Fail.


-Fix the fucking internet.