Virgin Islands

I love the Virgin Islands. If I’m going to stay somewhere, its gotta be St John. The BVI’s each offer something unique, but St John is just perfect. Don’t stay on St. Thomas. It’s like a big city. St John is like a vacation, and you can hop over to everywhere from Cruz Bay.

What an amazing place. Just driving from Charlotte Amalie to Red Hook for the short ferry you realize you have made the right decision, and then you actually get to St John. It’s small, it’s quaint, and the people seem happy! Which isn’t so easy to come by in the Caribbean.

The main area, Cruz Bay is just about perfect, not too big, not too little, with plenty of bars and restaurants ranging from shacks to fine dining. They really have managed to get a variety in that small area.
On the opposite side of the island, you will find coral bay, which doesn’t seem like much. A few crusty bitches and a hand full of rag tags really 🙂

Driving around the island is harrowing. The center line road basically runs the entire length of the island going from ridge to ridge, and the turns are treacherous, especially with all of the wandering goats and donkeys, of which there are many.
We went to a number of beaches but trunk bay is the only one that really has any infrastructure, and by that I mean you can rent stuff, and there’s a bar for you to buy stuff. Outside of Trunk bay you are basically on your own, which is desirable for some, but for me I at least want the option of being able to grab a cold drink if we run out.
It does cost money to enter Trunk Bay but once you’re in it really only has one downside, it is a dropping off point for tours coming from the cruise ships on St. Thomas. Outside of that, Trunk is hard to beat. It’s gorgeous, it’s big, and they have a snorkeling trail that even includes underwater markers that keep you on the path and offer info on wildlife and such. Kind of cool.

The market options on island are extensive, and we went to the starfish almost daily. Shit was expensive, but the variety was good.

The beach bar never disappointed, but it’s mostly bar food, you go there for the atmosphere really…and maybe the drinks, but I definitely wouldn’t say their painkiller or anything else was better or worse than any other places.

Notes to self:

-My last trip we mostly ate at the villa or in Cruz Bay. Our last day we had a nice breakfast at the quaint Tamarin Inn, where Sam was going to spend his first night on the island by himself…note to self, have breakfast at the Inn, never, ever stay there 🙂 The Longboard on our first night was a great dinner. Good people, great food, modern but beachy style. Our kind of place.
-No matter what island you stay on, charter a boat and visit the others for a day. The baths are a must, and Jost is one of the best beach bar environments you’ll ever visit. Last trip we used Captain Cleve and got 8:30am to 5pm for $575 plus gas (about 100 bucks), plus we tipped him $75. The trip went to the baths first, then the willy T for lunch (where they now show videos of the debauchery rather than using those old photo books like they used to) (captain ate free also) (oh and it may not look like much, but we were all proud of jumping off that bitch), then to Jost where we hung out at the soggy dollar then walked over to Ivan’s stress free and hung out with Kenny Chesney…sort of 🙂 (they fucked Ivan’s up btw, used to be a cool shack and now it’s a crappy giant structure…booo). Oh and we got stamped in Tortola…40 bones each.
-Stay on jost at least for a night. These places don’t ask for you to leave a credit card at the desk if you get there after the 5pm ferry, cause as my clerk said, “where you gonna go”. The Soggy Dollar bar is a very chill experience, and after the bartender closes for the day, the bar stays open using the honor code! You just write down what you took and pay him tomorrow…awesome. The beachside bungalows were pretty cool for us, but they are bar bones man. If you want AC you’ve got to stay in one of their back row apartments.
-Go to the Willy T for lunch. How can you not go to basically a pirate ship restaurant and bar that is moored in the middle of a bay. Boat is the only access. Cool and oddly debaucherous at night…I guess cause who’s gonna see you.
-Go snorkeling at the caves. It’s scary as shit going into those caverns but it’s quite a thrill. The water is like 50 feet deep too so you are under constant worry of shark attack, ha. But it’s clear and it’s fun.
-On the last trip I dinged the car in our crazy ass driveway, yes I admit it, but dude the bumper was hardly affected, so I say this, fuck Mr. Piper and his jeeps. He is a scam artist. If you ding your car anywhere, like I did on my bumper, he will say that he has to replace the whole thing. What do you do with it I ask, throw it away he says. What a fucking liar. Its a bumper, it’s made to bump. And anyway, what business do you have throwing away a bumper, or a door, or anything else. You mark it up on the rental sheet just like any rental company.
You are a sneaky liar sir. Your whole scam is bullshit and you should be thrown off that island. You are not worthy to live there. You prey on people who have no choice. You aggressive, rude, disgusting man. 190 extra bucks…fuck you. That is all.
-BUT, the people on the island overall are fantastic. My brother was moving there and everyone seemed legitimately interested in his story and his success. People wanted to help find you a job and they wanted to find you a place to live. It was like a miracle. I smile every time I think about it. It’s Silvertown…joe dirt? anyone?


Hotels

Reefside Villa St. John (Jan. 2016)

Latitude St. John (Aug. 2015)

Eden’s Whim St. John (Jul. 2006)