Paris

What’s not to like about Paris?! Well, I could think of a few things  I do happen to love this city. Walking the Champs E’lyses is a must. It’s long as shit. And exhausting. And many parts are boring. But man, it is a must. At worst, get a rickshaw. Fun stuff even though it seems like you are at deaths doorstep for the entire ride. I would say the restaurants on the Champs were formulaic, but the food was still good and eating patio style is always fun.
We got lucky as when we arrived to the Louvre there was almost nobody waiting. We breezed through the line, then breezed right through this way too fucking large and complicated museum. I prayed for an escape while walking down many of those crowded, desperately long corridors.
The big bus tour here was perfect for us. You actually learn a lot and don’t have to struggle to see everything. While the bus was totally worth it, the expensive ass skip the line at the Eiffel tower tickets were not. Just make sure when you buy them that there wasn’t a protest earlier in the day, that turned into a riot, that resulted in tear gas being fired, that caused the tower to close, that created a frenzy later in the day for all those people that didn’t get to make it prior. It took an hour to get to the elevator. Now, that being said, oh my god is it worth it. We were pressed for time/peeing in our pants (the first floor is fucking high) so we didn’t go all the way up, but man that object is remarkable. Both being on it, and learning about it. Just amazing.
Bridge with the locks was meh. Food was amazing. Sitting in cafes in tiny French squares on tiny French roads is hard to beat. Omelets. Yeah you heard that right. Omelets. Plus wine during every break and often times in between breaks. And let’s not forget “Croque” anything. What’s not to like about that. So what that your server hates you, and possibly life in general. He can moisten my croissant with his French tears. They probably taste like butter anyway.

Notes to self:

-We had the advantage of having a train workers strike during our visit. Made road traffic tons of fun. But someone strikes weekly anyway so train workers might of actually been the least disruptive for us.
-Mouffetard Street (which is pedestrian “only” at times…French “only” isn’t always only “only”) is pretty damn perfect. Tiny stores are everywhere and the street dumps into squares and circles all over. It’s a great stroll and a great place to nibble and drink.
-Le Maraise near Notre Dame is an upscale neighborhood with designer shops and lots of restaurant with giant patios…usually pretty perfect but we did also notice that women were in extremely short supply at all of the patios we went to. Might as well not go to Europe if women aren’t going to be around.
-Saint Michel and Saint Germain streets intersect and form a big nightlife area. Kind of young but still cool.
-We stayed next to the Acr the first night and in the Latin Quarter the second night. Latin Quarter was much much better, but staying on the Champs at least one night was good for our purposes.
-We went to the most amazing French restaurant that catered almost exclusively to anyone other than people like us. But the waiter was super nice and patient. Everything we asked for he was like, “well we don’t do exactly that, but you are gonna love this.” Kind of like saying that everything you guys eat in America is, well, bullshit. Anyway, the natives were considerate enough to just stare at us angrily and not actually throw anything. We had amazing food, amazing wine, and would go back if we ever ended up in paris again. Small, kinda dirty, old as shit, kind of snooty, and perfect as hell. Savy.
-Did not go to the Moulin Rouge or the red light area that it’s in, even though I’ve always wanted to. Every time we brought it up all we heard was how shitty that area was.
-Call it Americanized if you like, but I actually prefer my escargots in buttery garlic sauce…and found that very difficult to find this trip.


Hotels

Majestic Villa Hotel (June 2014)

Seven Hotel (June 2014)