I really don’t understand people that don’t like Miami…I suppose I should say South Beach because that’s all I’m really talking about. Now maybe I would hate living in South Beach, but visiting is like going to another world. They have beautiful beaches, great weather, and gorgeous people, but it’s the hotels that define the place for me. They don’t have this many hotels, with this much style, anywhere in the world. Walking down Collins Avenue and bar hopping at hotel bars is one of my favorite things to do on the planet. It can be so surreal. Not enjoying something like that bothers me…and those people are probably no fun to hang out with anyway. These hotels are sexy and hip while being grand like Marylin Monroe. They make me want to smoke so I can feel like I’m in the 50’s just the slightest bit more.

Notes to self:

-Stay on Collins (Ocean drive is just for visiting)
-Have a drink at the Delano pool (on Fridays and Saturday lines get long just to enter the hotel…but guests get in right away of course)
-Have a drink at The Shore club pool (weekends have DJ’s and tons more hot ladies).
Sadly on our most recent trip the Shore Club has become very meh. Nobu left 4 years ago and they still have not replaced it for example. That’s huge if you’ve ever been.
-Spend some time bayside (Mondrian, the standard, etc.)
-Breakfast at the Raleigh is a must (be careful because they stop serving breakfast at like 11:30, even on Sunday…and those are the best items). Currently being renovated 🙁
-Dinner at Prime 112 is a must
-The Fountainbleu has a very cool club and the hotel is pretty sweet
-The Perry South Beach (formerly Gansevoort) has a cool bar on its roof that I don’t love, but the views are great.
-The SLS is super sweet. I think I’ll stay there next time I head down to Miami. Done 🙂
-Strip clubs are pretty good in Miami and can be swanky, but you need to cab it, the one close by (madonna) is only so so. Wonderland is actually really cool. I would only go on weekends when they have both levels open, but the girls were hot, the dances were 20 bucks, and the style was cool (not the closest place on the planet though). Scarlett Cabaret in Hallandale is supposed to be the shit…but it’s pretty far so I’ve never been.
On our most recent trip we decided Wonderland was just too far. Just not worth it at all…and that masseur totally got me for 3 songs. You wily dick! No real lap dances at Wonderland either.
-Strolling Ocean boulevard can be ok but often times it’s just annoying and crowded (sometimes they close off the street for cars which makes it so much better, as the patios spill out everywhere)


SLS Miami (Apr. 2018)

W South Beach (Jul. 2010, Jan. 2015)

The Shore Club (Sep. 2008, Aug. 2009, Feb. 2010, Mar. 2011, Jan. 2012)

The Delano (most recently Feb. 2014)

Mondrian South Beach (Dec. 31 2011)

The Raleigh (Aug. 2005)

The National

Fontainebleau (Feb. 2014)